#12 Shot old people with a paintball gun

Back in 2005, before I joined the Marine Corps, my friend James (kind of like Ralph) and I decided it would be a good idea to drive around, and shoot people with a paintball gun. Now, James is the kind of person who would make you feel guilty about not doing illegal things with him, and you would eventually oblige. So, there we were, driving down the street, unloading hoppers at random people. I remember two people in particular, an old man, and an old woman. They were carrying groceries from Foodmaxx, and we both just let loose on them. We hit them for sure. I know becuase the old man dropped his bags, and grabbed his head, writhing in pain. After this, we drove past an older woman on the phone in her driveway, and at this point, I was jacked. I popped out of the window, and shot her right in the breast. Later that night, we shot up some cop cars, which is also on the list as a later item, but for now, I want to make up for this one.

I'm still working on fixing #10, but Mason is a hard man to track, and for some reason, this one is eating at me. I thought about going to a retirement center, and letting the residents pelt me with a paintball gun, but I don't know if that really fixes the situation. I'd like to hear back from you all about this one.

Jared Rice
The Real Earl

#10 Stole firecrackers from Mason

A long time ago I broke into my "friend's" house, and stole his firecrackers he had just bought for a big Fourth of July celebration. I was supposed to be his friend, and instead, I stole from him, among other things.

Last night, my house was robbed, and the thieves got away with about $700 worth of stuff, including a video camera, and an iPod. A lady who really needed a car part, and had to get home to Visalia came in to where I work, but we don't stock the part. I told her I had the same car, and she can have her mech pull it off at my house, and give my roomate $11 for it. She gladly obliged, left, and when she went to my house (I was still at work), her and her family robbed my house, and my roomate.

I think Karma is telling me to do this list item, but I don't know how to pay it back, considering I don't know where to get firecrackers in California. Not to mention, I have to find this guy, which shouldn't be too difficult. What do you guys think?

#38 Kept important documents from owner

So, a few years back I was digging through my grandparent's storage at a mini storage facility, and I found a First Year Baby Calendar. I tossed it aside, not giving it any thought, and only caring about what I found interesting in the pile of junk. Upon later inspection, I saw that the calendar belonged to a family, we didn't know, and knowing that it was probably important to them, I just left it in the storage.

Later on, after developing my list, I remembered the baby calendar, and I cycled through the pages, trying to find the owners based on the names inside. It was from 2005 so, now the kid was grown, and the parents could have moved. After searching online for a while, I found that the husband and the wife had split, and they were battling in court due to domestic abuse. I won't get into detail about it, but finally after three months or so, I got a call back from one of the people I tried. The person turned out to be the grandfather of this kid, and his son wanted to know if he could pick the calendar up. I said yes, and I had the man meet me to get his calendar. He offered to pay me with a reward, but I insisted that he didn't explaining how I got the thing in the first place. #38 Kept important documents from owner- Crossed off.

Jared Rice
The Real Earl

P.S. Yes that is a picture of my face pasted on Earl.

#24 Shot birds with a B.B. gun

This one was kind of difficult, considering I would never be able to pay it back to the birds that I shot. Somehow, though, like Karma was talking to me in some way, I got the hint to do this list item because a Dove made its nest in my patio umbrella. Most of the time, I would have shooed it away, but this time, I knew Karma was telling me to do #24. I got some birdseed from my neighbor (who is also on my list), and I fed it, took care of it, and I also got a bird feeder for other birds in the area. Finally, the bird laid her eggs, they hatched, and about a month later, the family of Doves took off, and I knew I could cross off #24 Shot birds with a B.B. gun.

Jared Rice
The Real Earl

#5 Littered

So #5 on my Karma list is littered. I don't know how many times I've done it, but I know I've done it. So, I walked around my entire neighborhood, which consists of 16 blocks, and I picked up garbage. My friend Kegan was with me, (he's like my Randy, but not dumb), and as I picked up the trash, I started feeling really good about getting my list items crossed off. I filled an entire 5 gallon trash bag, and the neighborhood looked nice for a day. #5 Littered- Crossed off.

Jared Rice
The Real Earl

The Real Earl

My name is not Earl Hickey. It's Jared Rice. After watching the seasons of "My Name is Earl", I've realized that maybe Greg Garcia was on to something. I've decided that I would make my own list of terrible things I've done, and go around one by one, making up for them. Stick around, and I'll tell you all about my list, and what has happened with it as I try to make Karma happy.